Exhibit A The photo to the left is the gorgeous Custom Vintage Humbucker Telecaster Heavy Relic in Vintage Blonde, which has been taunting me from Music Zoo’s website for nearly a year.
I say “taunting” because there’s no way in hell I would personally pay Fender over $3,000 just to pre-age a guitar for me… but that said, this curvaceous beauty just keeps calling me back, and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to say no.
So what’s the next best thing, I ask? You guessed it––in the Grand American Spirit of destruction, experimentation, and good old “I-can-do-better-than-that-guy” chutzpah, I’ve decided to take a stab at creating my own Telecaster “Relic,” one piece of sand paper at a time… ooooh, you just know it’s gonna’ hurt.
And to be honest, while it would be great to walk away with an artistic masterpiece like the one above, my prime motivation for potentially demolishing a perfectly good Telecaster is really quite simple: it just sounds like fun!
Exhibit B And so we come to the “guinea pig” of our experiment… thanks to the magic of eBay, late last night I managed to purchase a slightly dinged Classic Player Baja Telecaster for what amounts to literally a song and a dance.
This is the much raved about MIM ’52 Tele Reissue, designed by the Fender Custom Shop and packed with modern niceties, like S1 switching, medium jumbo frets, a 9.5“ neck radius, and a pair of Custom Shop ’69 pickups.
And yes, that’s a poly finish, so I’ve got some heavy wet-sanding ahead of me… I can hardly wait.
The Players Luckily, through a bit of creative conniving I’ve managed to recruit the brains, beauty, and braun of a top secret partner-in-crime, whom will hereafter be referred to only as ”G.“
Between the two of us we should be able to manage most of the necessary requirements for artistically deconstructing an otherwise perfectly good guitar.
Timeline Who can really say… 60 days? 90 days? I haven’t a clue.
Why You Should Care Because this whole ill-fated experiment is likely to turn into one giant train wreck, and who can resist the temptation to watch one of those?!